For poets, I find the storms become the writing. I use these dark times to churn out darker poetry. I do not have BPD so I do not understand that inner turmoil, but I know the dark days and moods can sometimes make for very creative work. However, there is a price. I hope that you can find some balance and give yourself the break you need without guilt. It’s a hamster wheel, this writing business. it is totally ok to step off, refuel, and get back on with a fury — when you are ready.