How can this be explained?
I hesitate to share this about myself. Most people will either judge me or flippantly dismiss me as crazy. But here I am, in the mood to overshare with a bunch of fellow writers — who know all about “putting yourself out there.”
I sense things.
I don’t see weird things or have visions or any other thing like that, but I sense things. And I have no idea what this is all about.
So if you are willing to stave off calling in the men in white uniforms carrying hypodermic needles and sympathetic “yep, she’s lost it” faces — then I will tell you about it.
I am completely open to the idea that coincidence may be involved here…but I am not convinced. I have always been very and I mean unusually sensitive to the energies of other people. To the point of feeling overwhelmed around too many people. Also, I seem to read people quite well. I don’t know if that is related, so I am just mentioning it for background.
Coincidence? or something else?
I went to the church to drop something off (I don’t remember what.) The doors were locked which was weird because the office lady knew I was coming. I’ll go around to the side door, I thought. The whole time I walked around the massive building to the side door I kept thinking about how utterly stupid it was.
That door was always locked and somewhat secluded, and I knew the effort was fruitless. I knocked. Nothing. Annoyed I turned around and began my trek back to the car. Something caught my eye. A magazine, damply plastered to the side of a bush by the road. I retrieved it and to my horror, it was the most grotesque pornography I had ever seen! The church was one block from the elementary school, due to let out any minute, which meant all the kids walking home would have walked right by there and seen that horrible magazine.
This incident shook me for a long time after. The images were traumatic to me. (Transvestites + children!) I don’t know why I had the overwhelming urge to walk over there but when I came back around the church, there was the office lady and here I had this awful magazine. I am so grateful no children were there to see what I saw.
I went with a friend to his house so he could check in on his ailing father and I had never been there. We went into a center room and a painting on the wall caught my eye. It was a beautiful forest scene with green, red and yellow fall leaves with the sun shining through the trees to a meandering forest path. I froze. I felt an overwhelming sickness in my stomach and two feelings screamed at me from that painting: madness and evil. I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out of there and away from the insanity I felt raging at me through that painting.
On my way home I could not shake the idea that something terrible was going to follow me home. I felt an intense fear building in my mind.
Fast-forward a few months.
I had begun to hear scratching on my floor at night (there were hardwood floors throughout the house.) I put out mouse poison for weeks but the scratching continued, as soon as I would lay down for bed. I began having intense, horrific, graphic, gory nightmares; the worst of which had me running through a concentration camp, getting shot and stabbed and feeling the pain of both and seeing mothers hold their babies, thin, bleeding from every orifice, and begging me to help the babies. In several of the dreams a dark figure whooshed by me. I had begun to have a gnawing fear of the knives in my house and I didn’t know why.
I told a friend about this and we agreed something had to be done. She came over and we did a “cleansing” of my home with sage and the Lord’s Prayer. We buried the candle we used in my yard. I knew instantly the moment the spirit left my home and exactly what direction it went as I felt that same whoosh go by me and out the kitchen window. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and cried. I felt an intense depressed feeling just lift out of me and the air in my home felt fresh and clean.
How do you explain this craziness? I didn’t tell anyone for a very long time. My friend and I went out to the back porch for her to smoke and about 30 minutes later my neighbors 14-year-old daughter texted me — I hadn’t had a text from her in a long while — it said “CJ I’m scared! I am hearing scratching on my walls!”
Fast-forward another year — we’d moved to Florida. The same neighbor’s daughter called me in the middle of the night. Our other neighbor, directly across from my house (we shared a driveway) a Boyscout kind of guy who mowed people’s yards just to help them out, and taught children Karate and self-defense…sweetest man ever…bludgeoned his girlfriend to death.
I hear things in the house we currently live in. We painted the place prior to moving in and I was often here alone working on it. I’d hear whispers. I knew, somehow, that there was an adult male, and a very curious and vocal older woman. They were curious about what I was doing and I have NO IDEA how I knew that.
One day I climbed down the ladder to go to the door because the landlady had stuck her head in and called my name. There was no one there. My daughter, playing outside, said there had been no one there. I later found out that this property belonged to the now-deceased grandmother and that her son had just died HERE (here in this house!) from a complication from alcoholism and drug use just a month before we moved in.
I still hear the front door open often and go…no one there. I hear whispers or breathing sometimes behind me late at night when I am sitting on the couch alone watching tv. I am never afraid of these things here. Somehow I know it is not anything to fear.
This happened a few days ago, prompting this post. I was waiting outside the bathroom at a Chiropractor’s office I have only recently begun patronizing. The halls were empty of people. I stood there listening to some man coughing in the bathroom and taking his own sweet time. A thought came to me — very strongly — There’s a pregnant woman near me. Well, what a weird thing to think? The thought came again — There's a pregnant woman near me.
A very pregnant woman came out of an office 3 doors down and waddles right past me. My mouth hung open.
The next visit I was somehow inclined to tell this to the lady who had me in her office taking my payment. As soon as I said “There’s a pregnant woman near me” she blurted out rather loudly “I’m pregnant! How did you know that!” 12 weeks and hadn’t told anyone yet. We were both stunned.
She said to me, “You have a gift.” Two pregnant women — and I had NO way of knowing this! Ok…convinced yet that I am a total nutjob?
Why do I have these experiences? Intuitive?
I have no idea…but thank you for allowing me to get this weirdness off my chest and out into the world. I’ll sit here and wait for the white van with the stretcher.