My regret is also the years of safety for me and my kids that I let him disturb, destroy, manipulate, control — I answer that regret with the same thing everytime — I left when I was strong enough, and I DID leave.

I have many regrets over what my kids saw and heard. But, we are now ok.

We are safe. That is what matters now.

The only thing you can do is move forward. i am so sorry you have lived through this mess as well. They find our weaknesses and exploint them until they break us down. It is 100% PREDATORY behavior. We learned to escape and we can just be thankful that we did.

Thank you for your support — reading your articles/poetry on this moves me (sometimes triggers me, if I am honest) and probably was the beginning of me deciding that after 16 years since he’s been gone, enough is enough, it is time for me to deal, without apologies to the world for how they might deal with it — time to own my own story and heal on my own terms.

(ps — before I had the chance to talk to my bf tonight and explain, babe, I wrote a poem today you might not want to read — he came home with empathy in his eyes, a deep hug for me, and tissues for my tears. Life is good. Love does NOT hurt. It is empathetic and kind. And I am grateful for learning this in my life and now having this in my life!)

𝘐 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭-𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘫𝘢𝘮.

𝘐 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭-𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘫𝘢𝘮.