Sending hugs and love and support to you my friend. Stay strong — the lows are useful for writing.
Get lost in some deep lyrics or poetry that challenges your thought patterns. There is science to this. The same dark place in your mind that is pestering you is the same part of the brain for creatively analytical thinking — for example, a favorite band of mine is The Counting Crows (August and Everything After and Recovering the Satellites are the 2 best albums— well, I am obsessed, really. Here is a snippet of some of their lyrics:
This is from my favorite song:
“ ‘Round Here”
Step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices
the contrast of white on white.
And in between the moon and you
the angels get a better view
of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.
I walk in the air between the rain
through myself and back again
Where? I don’t know
Another fav line from a different song: There’s a bird that nests inside you, sleeping underneath your skin, when you open up your wings to speak, I wish you’d let me in…”
The reason I share this with you is because when I feel down, I listen to them more because it allows me to dive into something deep — that has an undercurrent of hope-through-sadness.
HUGS my friend!! You GOT this thing.